8 Common Sense TIPS for Parents:
How YOU can make your child SAFE!
1. Provide positive information that is based on truth, not myths. This instills the value of honesty and openness and shows you trust your children to know the facts. Read the FACTS vs.MYTHS section on this web site.
2. Teach appropriate boundaries. Tell them under no circumstances is ANYONE, family member, friend, trusted authority figure, etc. allowed to touch them inappropriately or talk to them in an inappropriate manner. Teach them to say the following:
"I know what you are trying to do is wrong, and if you continue, I WILL tell my parents, the police or someone who will listen and you will go to jail."
3. Tell them that they should not have any secrets from you and that you will never blame them for something an adult does to them. Also, teach them to respect themselves and others. Boys should respect girls and girls should respect boys. When children respect themselves, it is easy for them to respect others.
4. Have them walk in groups of three or more to school, or the playground, or to friend’s house. Identify SAFE places for them and tell them to scream and run to the nearest SAFE place, when approached by a stranger.
5. If a sex offender moves in to the neighborhood. Find out what the charge was, most times, you will find out it was not an offense against a child. Go and talk to the person. Remember, some people are falsely accused and are pressured into taking a plea bargain. If they admit wrongdoing, listen for indicators they have been in treatment and have complied with all the terms of the court. Likewise, listen for indicators they are in denial, or are minimizing or rationalizing; these are typically red flags of more serious problems. If they live alone, find out what their support mechanism is. Point them to our SO-Solutions Help page.
6. If necessary, tell you children to walk on the other side of the street, or find another route to their friends house, tell them to inform you or another parent if the offender approaches them. Don't instill fear in your children, this will NOT make them safe, it will only add to childhood insecurities. Use common sense and your children will use common sense as well.
7. Keep your child's computer in a common area of the house, NOT in their bedroom. While we recommend computer monitoring programs to help, don't rely on them exclusively, most children are computer savvy enough to defeat these programs. Instead, set ground rules and reasonable expectations for Internet usage and monitor your child's computer usage. Make sure children NEVER give out, or post personal information. Do NOT allow your child's friends to access your computer without your knowledge and make sure they are aware of your rules. Remember, ONLY YOU, AS A PARENT, can insure your child's safety online.
8. Use what you have learned here to educate family members, and other parents; fear mongering will not protect anyone's child and will only lead them to mistrust people.
LINKS
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“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived, and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.”
--President John F. Kennedy
In his This I Believe commentary, aired in 1951, Edward R. Murrow said; “We hardly need to be reminded that we are living in an age of confusion—a lot of us have traded in our beliefs for bitterness and cynicism or for a heavy package of despair, or even a quivering portion of hysteria… There is a mental fear, which provokes others of us to see the images of witches in a neighbor’s yard and stampedes us to burn down their house.”
SOSNet is a resource for activists wanting to find REAL solutions to the sex offender problem. This is a very complex issue and casting a broad net is detrimental to our society. Rational actions need to replace inaction and lethargy. Courageous citizens, responsible leaders, and ethical journalist can make a difference.
Our mission is to dispel the myths, lies, and misconceptions about sex offenders with facts and truth, making all families safer.
2007 SOS-Net Brochure
Trifold brochure - great for handouts, e-mail and letter attachments
What We Believe - Why We Fight!
We do not condone, in any way, abuse, especially the sexual abuse of women and children. We do not, and will never make excuses for former offenders or their offenses. We believe that repeat offenders need to be separated from society, and released conditionally on proof of reform. We do acknowledge the fact that false accusations are made, people make mistakes (even stupid ones) and believe each case should be judged on its own merits, using empirical evidence and not hearsay. We know that people can change, improve themselves, and accomplish their own human revolution. We encourage you to approach this issue with an open mind and value the essence of every person’s humanity.
We advocate returning the Sex Offender Registry to its original intent, tracking the most dangerous and predatory offenders and absconders. We can accomplish this by implementation of a 5 Tier Risk Level System. We call for the immediate removal of low risk intra-familial offenders - including former offenders who have paid their debt to society and have not re-offended, Romeo and Juliet (teen-age consensual sex) lovers, juvenile offenders, and non-sexual (urinating in public, mooning, etc.) offenders from the registries. This will make them a more effective monitoring tool for law enforcement. Additionally, registries need to be removed from the Internet; requiring citizens access through local law enforcement. This will eliminate the possibility of vigilante action by misguided individuals and provide law enforcement with an audit trail.
We ask for the rights of all; victims, offenders and their families be first and foremost in the ensuing dialogue. We enjoin the media and our elected representatives to immediately begin using known facts in place of myths, lies and misconceptions when addressing this issue. We call for restorative justice and Constitutional protection in place of retributive justice and Unconstitutional banishment for offenders and their families.
ASK YOURSELF TWO QUESTIONS:
(1) If the Sex Offender Registries are working, why do we see a NATIONAL AVERAGE of a 147% increase in the number of offenders placed on the state registries from 1998 to 2001 when the population of the country grew at only about 13%? Why did the State of Washington with just a 20% increase in population, show a 993% increase in their Sex Offender Registry? Why did Alabama, with just around a 10% population increase, show a 659% increase in its Sex Offender Registry, or, Rhode Island with barely a 5% population increase show a 422% increase in its Sex Offender Registry, and Georgia with a 26% increase in population, show a 280% increase in its Sex Offender Registry?
Is it because of the federal Byrne Grant Program and the LEBG (Law Enforcement Block Grants) Program mandates states increase their registries or lose over 20% of their funding? If you find this interesting, then read the next section, FACTS vs. MYTHS.
(2) Is there a problem with politicians and the media and their continued misguided concept of interchangeably using words like "sex offender,” "child molester,” "pedophile,” and "predator"?
We contend there is, and this practice is not making children safer. It has the opposite effect, here is how:
A "sex offender "can be anyone who committed an offense, that state and now some federal laws, determine to be "sexual in nature.” This includes, urinating in public, mooning someone, consensual sex between teen-agers.
A "child molester" label is, in most states, now given to anyone who has sexual contact or has a sexual advance toward a person under 18, even teen-age consensual sex. In other words, a 17-year-old boy, who has sex with a 15-year-old girl is now charged and labeled a "child molester.”
A "pedophile" is someone who is attracted to a pre-pubescent child. Someone who has an attraction to a teen-ager is an Ephebophile, and it is not considered the same as pedophilia, by psychologists, unless it interferes with attraction to adults. Labeling all sex offenders as a "pedophile" misinforms parents and children, making the child less safe.
A true "predator" is someone who obtains or tries to obtain, sexual contact with another person, in a metaphorically predatory manner. Former Congressman Mark Foley’s actions could be described as “predatory.” Nevertheless, it would be very inaccurate to describe him as a “sexually violent predator.”
When we ascribe "child molester", "pedophile", "predator" and "sexual violent predator" to all forms of sexual abuse, we dilute their meaning, rendering the terms meaningless. By allowing this confusion, we in fact make children less safe.
Why would politicians and the media do all this?
FEAR SELLS, FEAR DRIVES RATINGS, AND FEAR GETS VOTES.
FACTS vs. MYTHS:
Myth – All sex offenders are child molesters and all child molesters are predators.
Fact – The FBI-UCR, National Crime Victimization Survey reveals that only 23% of sex crimes are against someone under 18; and the Bureau of Justice Statistics shows that predators represent around three percent of all sex offenders and child killers are less than one percent of all offenders.
Myth – All child molesters are pedophiles.
Fact – Pedophile means someone attracted to and obsesses of pre-pubescent children. Studies by the U.S Department of Health and Human Services show that less than twenty-nine percent of sex offenses are against children under age twelve.
Myth – Strangers are lurking at school bus stops or around playgrounds looking for children to molest.
Fact – According to all reliable resources, around 90% of all child molestation cases involve someone who is a family member, or someone who is close to or trusted by the family.
Myth – Depraved adults commit all sex crimes.
Fact – Over 40% of sex crimes committed against someone under 18 are by a juvenile; most are consensual sex by teenagers, others are older siblings acting out against a relative.
Myth – Men who molest boys are homosexuals or bisexual.
Fact – According to the October 5, 2006 issue of Pediatrics, the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, 98% of molested boys and 99.6% of molested girls are victims of HETROSEXUALS.
Myth – Sex offenders have the highest recidivism rate (some quote 95%) and allowing them back into society is a mistake.
Fact – Again, according to the U.S. Dept. of Justice and other studies done since 1994, sex offenders commit another crime, of any kind, at a rate of just thirteen percent, while those convicted of property theft reoffend (steal again) at an average of 75%. People convicted of drunk driving will reoffend at a rate of 51%, while a convicted murderer will reoffend at a rate of 41%. Ex-convicts with a non-sex offense charge are 87% more likely to commit a sex offense than a convicted sex offender in therapy is.
Myth – Sex Offender banishment and proximity laws increase public (child) safety.
Fact – Harsh proximity laws actually have the opposite effect. Data from Iowa, Kansas and Minnesota show that driving sex offenders from the communities where their support network is (family, jobs and therapy) lead to more absconding by medium and high risk offenders and loss of hope for low risk intra-familial offenders. For these low risk intra-familial offenders, harsh banishment laws also punish their innocent family members (wives, parents, children, siblings) which make them unconstitutional. Low risk offenders should be removed from community notification, allowing law enforcement to better track medium and high risk offenders.
Myth – Sex offences are increasing and are becoming an epidemic in our society.
Fact – Using the Bureau of Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice own figures, over the past 16 years, sex offences have declined around 35%. Remember, what politicians do not tell us is that state and local governments receive federal funds (Byrne Grant and LEBG) based on the number of people they have on sex offender registries, creating a financial incentive to add more names each year.
Myth – Sex offender treatment is too high and ineffective.
Fact – Sex offender treatment cost is exponentially lower than incarceration and has proven to be an effective way to monitor sex offender activity. The statistical average nationwide of incarceration is around $22,000 per year per inmate. Factor in the cost of welfare for the inmates family members, and the cost jumps to $48,000 per year. The cost for treatment and community monitoring is less than $5,000 per year per offender. It is just more fiscally responsible to treat low risk offenders different, and it preserves tax revenue for government treasuries.
Myth – All sex offenders are the same.
Fact – Sex offenses are as varied as the people who commit them. It is irresponsible to cast a broad net and classify all sex offenders the same. Categorizing all offenders, the same is a miscarriage of justice and impacts society adversely by wasting law enforcement resources on low risk offenders in place of a concentrated effort to track high-risk offenders and predators.
WHAT WE MUST DO:
We must have more faith in ourselves than in government to solve this problem. In lieu of fostering a fearful witch-hunt mentality for votes or advertising dollars and higher ratings, politicians and the media need to step up to this societal challenge. They should strive to end the myths and create an environment for intelligent solutions.
Citizens need to demand their lawmakers immediately end the pandering of panic for votes, take the lead in finding real solutions. We need laws that not only create real safety for all citizens but also protect constitutional rights and are cost effective.
We support a Restorative justice model, based on proven results of therapy for victim, offender, and their families. This is especially important since almost half of offenders are under 18.
We also support a proactive approach to early identification of people at risk of offending and restructuring of the mandatory reporting laws that will encourage folks to seek therapy before they offend. To this end, we must encourage open dialogue within our society. We must eliminate the “taboo” of speaking about sex in our culture, especially with our children. Parents must begin speak openly and honestly to their children. Denial or disregarding the problem will not solve it.
Additionally, parents need to step up and demand an end to the sexualization of children by the advertising, marketing and entertainment industries. How can mothers allow their twelve-year-old daughters to dress like Paris Hilton and then expect them to act like First Lady Laura Bush, or allow post-pubescent boys to play sexually charged violent video games and expect them to act like Rev. Billy Graham? It is not our intention to shift the blame for child abuse; however, we need to recognize the overall impact of advertising, media, and excessively accommodating parents on the issue.
SOS-Net advocates a National 5 Tier Risk Level Assessment System:
SOLUTIONS
The CDC (Center for Disease Control) has stated that sexual abuse is first and foremost a PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE before it becomes a Criminal Justice issue. Therefore, two steps must be taken right away; (1) we need to restore the sex offender registries to their original intent, that is to track ONLY the most dangerous or high-risk offenders and absconders, removing lower risk offenders. Medium risk offenders would move on or off the registry according to their Risk Assessment by therapist, and probation professionals. This WILL MAKE monitoring more efficient for law enforcement and effective for communities.
(2) We absolutely must become proactive and implement a policy of THERAPY FIRST. By preventing abuse and by intervention for potential and current (Intra-familial Only) abusers, we can virtually eliminate this public health issue. Again, to make it totally clear, this would be for intra-familial abuse only and based on a RESTORATIVE JUSTICE MODEL.
Research, scientific studies, and thousands of documented cases have proven that THERAPY WORKS! By restructuring mandatory reporting laws to allow (Intra-familial Only) abusers or people who have the potential to abuse and have not yet committed a crime (e.g. people with porn addictions, etc) to seek help, without the repercussions of prison, a lifetime on the registry, GPS monitoring, etc.; we can remove the links in the chain, or cycles of abuse.
Our FOCUS should be on THERAPY, not retribution. When we remove lower risk people from the registry, we add the needed stability to their lives for success. These steps along with others mentioned below should be at the forefront of a National Sex Offender Policy Forum.
The SOhopeful International report to the United States Senate Judiciary Committee offers these solutions; they include a common sense approach to low-risk intra-familial offenders:
• Treatment of high-risk separately from that of low-risk offenders.
• Civil commitment for high-risk offenders and predators.
• Treatment programs for low-risk offenders and victims.
• Prevention programs for teens and young adults to prevent sex abuse through development of successful coping skills and through understanding of appropriate boundaries.
We advocate these measures and in taking them a step further. To insure we protect all families we should also:
• Employ standardized national reporting and risk level guidelines making monitoring easier for law enforcement.
• Implement a five-tier risk level; to include NO (or Negligible) RISK, LOW RISK, MEDIUM RISK, HIGH RISK, and PREDATOR.
• Immediate removal of community notification for NO (or Negligible) RISK and LOW RISK offenders (teenage consensual sex, one time intra-familial and former offenders who have lived offense free for more than 10 years) increasing its effectiveness to law enforcement, state corrections, and the courts.
• Develop better training and standardized investigative techniques, creating an accurate litmus test to determine false allegations (the American Psychological Association estimates this around 30 to 70% where custody dispute is involved in a divorce) from factual sex abuse cases.
• Provide separate sex offender correctional facilities and mandatory ATSA (Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers) approved therapy prior to release.
• Assess risk level prior to reentry into society, implement GPS monitoring and bi-annual assessment of medium risk offenders until their determined risk is lowered.
• No parole life sentences for second (non-technical) offenses and deliberate absconders.
• For NO (or Negligible) RISK and LOW RISK offenders, provide education programs and skills training, to increase employability making re-entry back into society more certain.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Remember, the U.S. Dept. of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics show, predators, and child killers represent less than ten percent of folks on the registries, while true child molesters account for 23 percent of the registrants. What most people don’t know is the other 73 percent are on the registry for crimes like urinating in public, voyeurism, statutory rape (consensual sex between teenage lovers), and other victimless crimes.
At the end of the day, registration and proximity laws for low risk offenders, and former offenders adversely impact their ability to reintegrate into society and denies due process protections to the wives, children, parents, and siblings.
These laws are constructing an entire group of disenfranchised or second-class citizens in the
Why are we, as a society and the media as our watchdog, more comfortable with myths than facts? How does demonizing an entire group of people create value for society?
What is next for sex offenders and their families? Internment camps fashioned after the “relocation centers” for Japanese Americans during World War II.
Where is Edward R. Murrow when we need him most?
Please, for the sake of all women and children, call or write to your elected representatives, tell them you support a National Sex Offender Policy Forum, and want them to do the same. Tell them your vote is riding on this issue and you are tired of knee-jerk legislation that accomplishes nothing.
Additionally, boycott the advertisers of the media outlets who continue to pander fear, lies, and misconceptions for easy ratings and profits. If the bottom line is all that matters with them, then we will change their bottom line.
The louder our voice, the sooner we will be heard.
This is a first and foremost a moral issue. Only after an offense is committed, does it become a criminal issue. We are either going to be part of the problem or part of the solution.
Read our Voices of the EXPERTS page, see what the experts are saying about the sex offender registries, safe zones, and political myths.
Visit our State of the Registries page, learn about the Sex Offender Registry and why it is a failure.
Find out why Yellow Journalism is Alive and Well in Augusta, Georgia, our Op-Ed is proof the mainstream media will not make your children safe.
Yellow Journalism is Alive and Well at WSB-TV
Pandering Fear for Votes - Our response to an Op-Ed by Georgia State Senate President Pro Tem Eric Johnson (R-Savannah)
Click here to learn why the GA Court of Appeals overturned Plunkett v. State
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CLICK HERE TO SIGN A PETITION TO RESTRUCTURE PROXIMITY AND NOTIFICATION LAWS
CLICK HERE TO SIGN A PETITION CALLING FOR THE RESTRUCTURING OF REPORTING LAWS
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